When I was in Final year, a guy approached me for a relationship and although I wasn’t seeing anyone there was a guy I really liked and I couldn’t see myself dating anyone (else).
I told the mister sincerely and in the nicest way possible: I don’t know you well and I really love someone else so there’s no way we could be together. He thought for a while and said that he actually wanted us to get married, he was not joking.
I was taken aback. Did he think I was playing too? I mean, for me to tell you what’s up, shouldn’t you be grateful and respect that? But no, he had to rub the marriage into my face like it was some sort of gold medal I had been waiting all my life to win…
Well, I did my best to drum it into his ears that I wasn’t kidding one bit and the marriage thing while in school was not for me… Nope…
After I left school, I encountered some online friends. And a similar scenario ensued. I was shocked. Why don’t they understand that you want to be left alone?
Why do they keep thinking that dangling the marriage offer would make you dance and sway to their tune.
The worst is when you’re already in a relationship with someone else and then the guy keeps persisting and trying so hard to come between you and your boo. It sickens me when the person also presents an offer of marriage as his reason why you should split up and be with him. It’s really distasteful. Ugh!
I’ve heard a lot people complain about this attitude and I keep wondering why those guys behave like that.
The only scenario worse than the worst is the one where a guy starts calling you names or insulting you because you refused him. One even went around to spread rumors about me and for what? Rejection?
Are you the first person to be turned down? Is it by force that someone you like must like you back? Or that someone that loves you would want to date you?
Guys please listen,
Stop dangling marriage as a reason for a lady to date you because it’s not reason enough. Not everyone is itching to just be someone’s Mrs. We want to know the Mr we are hooking up with and not just change our relationship status.
When someone says they can’t be with you for one reason or another, respect it. Especially if it’s a reason like: I don’t love you or I’m with someone.
The former means that if you’re together, it’ll be because you persisted and she probably didn’t want to hurt your feelings and trust me that kind of relationship is not cool at all. You wouldn’t enjoy it.
The latter is actually a No Go because if someone splits up their relationship just because you came along, chances are that they’d leave you when a better offer comes.
Not every girl is playing hard to get. I think that’s way too old fashioned except maybe some wife material gurus still think it’s fine but I’ve never been part of that club so I don’t think it’s cool to play games. If someone likes you, they would show it. Someone like me will tell you. I might even ask you out before you ask me, that’s if I want to go out with you. So, if we say No. It’s No.
Don’t let anyone deceive you with that phrase: “Ladies don’t know what they want” because you’d just keep living in the illusion that someone wants to be with you when actually they just like you because you’re nice and awesome.
Finally, think highly of yourself. Not superiority complex as to wonder why someone would reject a whole you, no. But see yourself as a king not a beggar. If you ask and she’s saying No. Listen to her reasons and decide if they’re legit enough to make you ask again or walk away.
By legit I mean, she might want some time. Some people are like that. Or she might be dealing with stuff but it’s okay if she wants space or she doesn’t want to date anyone right now. You should respect that because at the end of the day you want a relationship between you and someone not one between you and yourself or an illusion of someone.
I hope this blesses someone.. Have a beautiful day.. ❤