Don’t try too hard
Perfection is the height that mortals can only dream of attaining. And that dream is one that can never be actualized. You know why? Because perfect has only one definition – God. To be God is to be flawless, all powerful and good all at the same time. And no mortal can be that, EVER!
Everyone knows you can’t be impeccable but why do we try so hard when this is a real life mission impossible? Could this be because we have succeeded in creating an illusion that everyone else has it all together except us? Oh look at Miss B, she has that hour glass shape that is to die for, a killer smile, voice like a lark and the silkiest hair ever! Men grovel at her feet. She’s Africa’s next top model, super smart and witty. She has an amazing personality as well.
What you don’t know is that she cries herself to sleep every night because her childhood memories haunt her. You don’t also know that her boyfriend is a tall handsome monster in suit who hits her every now and then. You’ve never seen that beneath the glamour and glitter is a poor little orphan whose parents were killed during an inter-clan clash. And you know what’s worse? She might be envious of you too!
Is our quest for this unattainable feat because of the invisible standards and unwritten rules that have been put in place for us? You know: what is expected of you and how you’re supposed to look, talk, dress, smile, eat, fart etc.
You may be someone like me – always trying so hard but always falling short, it seems. Or you keep doing your best but yet it’s never good enough. Never.
It’s frustrating especially when you know that the universe doesn’t watch you to applaud your accomplishments. It’s waiting for you to have that teeny tiny loop hole in your false perfection and then ‘kpoof’- your entire worth and all you are to them fizzles and it seems you never mattered at all. The pressure of being constantly reminded of this alone is enough to make you give up especially when you’re already drowning in despair.
Is there a way out? Well, I’m yet to figure that out. I’ve come to realize that we don’t have all the answers. We never will. We will always feel inadequate at some point. We will always remember that we don’t have it all. Perhaps that’s why we strive and strive and strive again.
But even in all these we can take comfort in knowing that perfection is an illusion. No one will be it so no one can rub it in our faces that they are better than us. This is because while they may have some things we don’t have, they’re things we have that they don’t. It might not be something loud but it is there. And we will hold on to it and be better in the areas we are inadequate.
So while you look at others, pause and look inwards. Do your best but never make it a habit to compare yourself with others because the them you may see might just be an idea of a mirage.